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When life hands you lemons, make robots.

Greetings and well wishes from a queer lady with a lot of feelings!
Apr 22 '14

thewasabipea asked:

"(412):I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions" - from natasha to steve?

broadlybrazen:

lmao that works, and on the one hand i really like thinking about how that might work, but…now that steve & nat are settling into their friendship, i kinda want steve sending that, knowing full well that “no questions” is totally futile and that she’s going to get the whole stupid story out of them and they will never live it down.

(it’s not sexy fun. it was maybe going to be sexy fun, steve was totally working up to that - STEVE TOTALLY HAS GAME, NAT, GODDAMMIT - he had this whole longterm plan, he was gonna do stuff like take sam out for nice dinners, seduce him gently and romantically like a gentleman. but sam accidentally ruins all of steve’s careful plans after the very first date - leaning against his doorjamb and laughing, his limbs loose and relaxed, inviting steve inside to have a nightcap, wantonly shrugging off his jacket and rolling up his shirtsleeves like a dirty hussy, smiling so cheerful and sunshiney the whole goddamned time.

the roof of steve’s mouth goes dry, he can’t stop staring, and sam’s smile turns a little bit wicked, and then for like five whole minutes everything is beautiful. lots of passionate kissing and somebody finally gets a hand down somebody else’s trousers - sam has never felt so smugly patriotic - everything is lovely and everyone is happy, so of course it doesn’t fucking last.

the roof caves in. on top of them. for two extremely agitated minutes, they think it’s hydra - of course it’s hydra, it’s always fucking hydra - and for a brief horrible moment sam just stares at steve, certain that he’s about to die right there with his trousers undone, clearly interrupted while being thoroughly and joyfully disgraced by captain america. with s.h.i.e.l.d. gone, sam just hopes that somebody will have the presence of mind to covertly clean this up & tell his mother brazen lies about how he went.

there’s a lot of yelling and flailing and somebody getting smacked in the face with a metal arm, which is how they discover that bucky made himself a little bolthole in sam’s attic and sometimes goes there if he wants the oblique comfort of sam’s warm presence without actually, you know, interacting with sam and maybe having to use feelings words. it’s…oddly sweet, as long as you don’t consider minor factors like privacy, and boundaries, and the limited weight tolerance of half-finished attics in older buildings.

so yeah. it is not sexy fun. it is the least sexy and least fun that either of them has endured in a while, and on top of that the black widow is now perched on sam’s bureau, smirking while captain america glares at her and the former winter soldier sulks midst the cumulative wreckage of sam’s apartment and sam’s favorite slacks and their collective dignity.)

Apr 22 '14

Anonymous asked:

Why does Chris Evans always grab his left boob when he laughs?

officialchelso:

Hello, anon, and thank you for the question.

This topic has been studied by by researchers for years. There are three prevailing theories that I will relay to you now.

1. It keeps him on the ground.

image

You may notice in the gif above that Chris’ leg starts to rise as he laughs, possibly a precursor to his entire body undergoing a sort of lift off due to his joy. Chris then employs his upper body strength to force himself to obey the laws of gravity.

2. To check on his physique.

image

As you may be aware, anon, it takes a lot of hard work to maintain a superhero body. Chris is concerned that in the time he has spent sitting down, sans working out or eating, he has lost muscle mass. Understandably, he feels the need to make sure that he is still a specimen.

3. Object permanence.

image

Object permanence is a term applied to the understanding that an object still exists even when you cannot see it. Chris closes his eyes when he laughs, making him unable to see that he has not disappeared. By grabbing his left boob, Chris knows that he has not somehow ceased to exist.

I hope this helps.

Apr 22 '14

wanda-junior:

The first time Steve and Sam shared a bed, there wasn’t any question about which side either would occupy

Steve: Guess I’ll be on your-

Sam: you say it, you sleep on the couch, so help me

Apr 22 '14

goldstarbisexual:

everybody I know has used heterosexuality as a stepping stone to coming out of the closet as gay or bi, so I think we need to have a serious conversation about whether heterosexuality exists

Apr 22 '14

caughtinanocean:

I am still not over — will never be over — Steve and Natasha showing up on Sam’s doorstep like sad, lost puppies. Sad, lost puppies whom he then takes care of and feeds and helps save the world, without them even having to ask, because Sam

Apr 22 '14
sapphicdalliances:

myrandaroyces:

nick fury has got his arms around natasha like she’s the mother of his child and tony stark is that child and they’ve just heard the news about what tony did at school today and they don’t know how to best discipline him or how they manged to raise such a failure of a child

#not inaccurate (@ferrific)

sapphicdalliances:

myrandaroyces:

nick fury has got his arms around natasha like she’s the mother of his child and tony stark is that child and they’ve just heard the news about what tony did at school today and they don’t know how to best discipline him or how they manged to raise such a failure of a child

#not inaccurate (@ferrific)

Apr 22 '14

Help save a 16 year-old trans girl of color from being put in a mens adult prison with NO crimes charged on her by emailing Commissioner Katz.

inkdefense:

butchimightbe:

She has never been convicted of a crime but they want to move her to near isolation in an adult mens prison. This CANNOT happen. Here is a more in depth article: http://feministing.com/2014/04/14/how-the-connecticut-department-of-children-families-is-failing-a-trans-girl-of-color/

I put together an email for Commissioner Katz, so all you have to do is copy and paste it. Click here for the example email

Please reblog to raise awareness!

signal boost, please!

Apr 22 '14

thedoctorknows:

sebastillestans:

i was watching the first avenger and wondering how Bucky knew Steve was getting his ass kicked in the back of some random alley behind a movie theatre

like does he just check alleyways whenever he’s walking down a street to see if Steve’s started another fight he can’t finish

the answer is probably yes

headcanon that, even when brainwashed, Bucky still stops at alleyways and looks down them to find nothing

and he never knows what he’s looking for

Apr 22 '14

(Source: wildhogs2007)

Apr 22 '14
Apr 22 '14

There’s no new Cap 2 fanfic to my liking on AO3, so I’m going to ramble about my what happened to Bucky for 70 years headcanon type stuff below the cut because the alternative is homework which I have already decided to do in the morning.

Read More

Apr 21 '14

ikolism:

steve, bucky and sam going out for early-morning jogs. every time steve and bucky pass sam, they yell “ON YOUR LEFT” and “ON YOUR RIGHT” respectively. sam gets increasingly frustrated. but after a while, steve and bucky realise they haven’t passed sam again, and he’s nowhere to be seen. and they start to get worried, fearing the worst, until suddenly they hear a shout “ON YOUR ABOVE, ASSHOLES” as sam swoops overhead, leaving them behind

Bucky and Steve cuddling Sam in bed. “On your left.” “On your right.”